my peace

"Gw belom dapet deh Far, apasih yang paling paling bikin lo pengen balik ngajar di pelosok lagi? Karena dikota rempong ya, hectic crowded gini? Atau kenapa?"


"Itu tuh.. perasaan menjadi berguna. In sharing a greater good for a greater people, there I found peace, in the most precious form I could never find in doing another thing."

live the life

Had a chat with my campus mate about the vision of life ahead, and gave her one simple idea about making life worth living. And the one who knows how is you yourself, so don't ask another question to me, ask another question to you. She cried, twice, as I said something like.. shut the world up and listen deeper,


does your life worth living already?

Agree.

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.


Anaïs Nin

lucid

I'll never forget my sleep on 15th Oct 2011, I woke up from a dream and then I woke up AGAIN to finally met up REAL reality.

to be natural

When the effective leader is finished with his work, the people say it happened naturally.

Lao Tzu

such an answer

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the President’s Secret Service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner. Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you?” She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant,” to which Michelle responded, “No. If I had married him, he would now be the President.”

via soul-dier.tumblr.com

kritik semu fakyu

Karenanya mohon maaf bila saya tak mampu lagi menganggap tips dalam "Lagu Gampang" (Siaran Langsung) dan seruan Jerinx dalam "Punk Hari ini" (Superman Is Dead) sebagai kritik terhadap pasar, melainkan sekedar manifestasi kecemburuan kolektif dari anak muda perkotaan yang punya hobi mengutuk-ngutuki lagu band lain karena bisa manggung di Inbox dan aksesorisnya dijual di mall daripada membuat karya sendiri yang cerdas dan mencerahkan.

Pry S Pry (taken from jakartabeat.net)

quoted incubus

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel

Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?

It's driven me before
And it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around
But lately I'm beginning to find that
When I drive myself my light is found

Would you choose water over wine
Hold the wheel and drive?

im a gine

sense

shut

the

fvck

up

I

am

brain

storming

do the dive

alhamdu? lillah.

to be healed

To be with me

is not to give much effort for the sake of running near me, but somehow becoming someone you’re not.

To be with me

is to stay being you, but to be noted: the best out of you.

To be with me

is to stay sane, to stay clear of yourself, your own feeling and your own instinct.

So dont change, for I dont need anyone to change.

You yourself, are amazing already.

You just dont realize it yet, for you dont break your wall and give way to the best of you to come out. Show it. Show me what you’ve got inside. Heal yourself, break the wall, pull it out!

Be you. That’s the only person you can be.

Cause I am me. 10 out of 10.

fvckin grey area

apa, semesta?

There are lots of coincidences lately, I mean in good ways. It wasn’t unexpected things that someone did, it was things that universe has arranged. Seriously dear universe, what exactly do you try to tell me? Yet whatever it is, thanks anyway. For it put a smile on me all over again.

For I think I met the stary night I’ll never be able to forget.

first aid kit

not only to know you're here, but also to feel your presence..

are more than enough.

thank you for being you. for being there.

for lending eyes, ears, and shoulders. and most of all,

for giving the comfort feeling that caress this soul.

dear you

I realize one essential thing:

pause if you must,

but don't stop.

pesan papa jaman sekarang

"Teh, kamu tuh bikin rencana dong buat dua taun kedepan atau lima taun gitu harus keliling dari sabang sampai merauke, tiap kuartal kamu harus jalan kemana gitu, terus bikin buku biar orang-orang tau segimana bagusnya Indonesia."

Iya, Pop. Semua orang juga pengen kayak gitu. Tapi gak semua orang punya Papa yang ngomong kayak gini sih.

funeral speech

Begin with the end: I do this several times. Take a moment and contemplate, what do you want people to say about you in their speech on your funeral?

To think about it is to think about what you really want to be in your life. To think about it is to set your biggest goal of your existence in the world. Good luck with that.

If you’re on your way to search your identity, let’s simply begin with the end.

yin yang

I balance my life. I need to give Yin to my Yang. Everybody needs that, only if they realize. We had run a lot. I told myself that I need to run faster and jump higher, like all the time. Until one day I realize that blur of the traffic was sending me spinning.. I was getting nowhere. That I missed so many beautiful things I’ve passed on my run. Where was I? Run and saw one exact point of finish line, and forgot to look around and smile. Then there was a point that I told myself: Dear, you need to slow down.

And now when I slow my run and breath relaxly, fill my days with simply sharing and making friends and taking Yoga class, here comes people asking, what you’ve been up to Fara? What are you doing now? You can’t just walk like this, you always run! That they expect me to do something cool like they said I ususally did. To do something stands out among others. To do something tirelessly great and inspiring, in their eyes. To be their ideal version of me, in their mind.

No way. I closed my eyes and breath. For I know I should take another long and winding road to run again anytime but soon, and before that time comes, let’s just embrace the moment. That’s what matter. I don’t give any fuck of what people judging, I’m on my pitstop, enjoying my drink and getting everthing ready for another match. Now embracing grace, stop the rush.

# I write this for my friend Bayu Fajri Hadyan, a super fast sprint runner in his life.

don't believe the truth

I had enough of people talking and forcing and asking and judging. If this is a part of me, if I don't look that strong and that I need time to be afraid, at the end of the day everyone's tired, at the end of the day they don't see me as I am, they see their ideal version of me in their mind. I almost don't believe there'll be someone someday pops out from somehere and take me as I am, a whole 100%, with those worst and lamest parts included. If soul mate's real and that's the truth, so I'm sort of in the moment of not believing the truth. That doesn't make me a cynical, that kinda makes me the way I really am, at least now.

some might say "fuck the truth" but in the matter of fact, mostly,

truth fuck us more.

@epiclifequotes

I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.

to let loose, let go.

The goals of yoga are varied and range from improving health to achieving Moksha. In Indian religions, moksha (Sanskrit: मोक्ष mokṣa) or mukti (Sanskrit: मुक्ति), literally "release" (both from a root muc "to let loose, let go"), is the liberation from samsara and the concomitant suffering involved in being subject to the cycle of repeated death and reincarnation. Within the Hindu monist schools of Advaita Vedanta, Shaivism and Jainism, the goal of yoga takes the form of Moksha, which is liberation from all worldly suffering and the cycle of birth and death (Samsara), at which point there is a realization of identity with the Supreme Brahman.

(even taken from wikipedia)

aduh unyu deh

tuhan segitu baiknya sampe saya dikasih ketemu sama keluarga sastra. ga nyangka banget ya ampun deh ampun. pas saya nangis banyak yg nenangin, banyak yang ngerangkul, banyak juga yang ngatain cemen soalnya gitu aja ga kuat, ada yang nyari lagu paling sesuai buat naikin mood saya, mostly akhirnya pada ngelawak biar ketawa-ketawa lagi. sumpah seneng banget ga pake boong deh demi allah. oiya terus ada satu yang minjemin saya pundaknya dan bilang "lo bisa pake pundak ini kapanpun."

tampangnya gahar dan beringas tapi kok mereka semua sweet sekali ya :')

quoted notebook

Some people are real. Some people are good. Some people are fake & some people are real good at being fake.

are you in?

I'm afraid of another falling, I do forget I've been a risk-taker.

menurut gw sih

"mendingan jatoh sejatoh-jatohnya tapi abis itu bisa lari lagi, daripada langsung maksain jalan tertatih-tatih tapi ntar lukanya kebuka mulu."

be bright back ;)

You know what? I'm back. With the same smile and the same stupid jokes.

long live life!

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someones hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back."

my pleasure treasure

Lately I see and listen and feel a lot of God's work, manifest in a form of family and friends. THEY ARE AMAZING. Like really really amazing. When I shared to friends, it was like giving them a piece of me, and then they giving me another piece of me which I could hardly remember, and they put it in me, in a very right place. Do you know the feeling??? When you fell into pieces and you couldn't bring it all back together, for you think your hands hurt so much even can't stop bleeding, and suddenly there are a lot of people coming in a rush to give you back yourself, piece to piece. It feels so good I can even cry my heart out. I'm blessed. Dear you, and you, and you, I thank you, for every single part of me you've been carried all the way.

rest rest rest, now

Let's stay sane. I need to stay sane.

I'm not ready for any strange movement.

can I just.. take a lil breath after a long run?

quoted and noted

"there's a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything, but it's not giving up. it's realizing that you dont't need certain people and their crap."

quoted sidiq

"kita hanya dua orang asing yang kebetulan duduk di halte yang sama. saya tahu ini kedengarannya gila.

tapi tolong katakan, kita searah kan?"

stay sane.

"if living is all about changing
teach me how to accept
for i cannot fight the stream of life
nor i can resist the temptation to stay the same
and to stay sane"

dear liar.

it's your loss, man.

screw you.

the moment I try to put myself altogether to stand up again,

the moment I almost safely landed at a certain point of maturity,

that's the moment I fully understand what exactly going on.

"real eyes realize real lies."

agaetis byrjun

"......

padamu wahai sang pelantun malam,
izinkan ia pulang dan tetap menyanyikan lagu yang sama ketika terang akan padam.
padamu wahai sang penenun terang,
doakan ia tiba dan tetap menjalin menyulam jiwa yang sama ketika terang terlalu benderang.

tanpa untaian seluruh rasa yang menjadi kata hingga terbata,
aku hanya bersedia ia pulang dengan selalu menjadi ia."

the idea of perfection?

"pure honest love wanting nothing in return."

I'm sorry guys at some points on my journey with Robie, I forgot this mantra. I'm sorry I forgot to be pure, and so it has to be ended. I really am sorry. I feel like it's my failure, seeing you guys asking with no acceptance of the truth. Feeling the disappointment came up on your face. Heard the words form Bella "ya ampun! semakin pupus aja harapan gw tentang hubungan yang ideal! :(" and saw the teary eyes of Cindy (seriously she looked like on her way to cry) "how could it be?! I look up to you and it all has to be ended??" I'm sorry guys I can't make it, I’m sorry for ruining your visible idea of perfection.

But one thing I need you to know that perfection comes with obstacles, and it actually about how I see life and especially relationship with a clearer view now, how I see that "to be pure is everything you need to fight for" not "to have him/to hold on a relationship which corrupt you", no it's not. It's about how I learn, how I forgive, and how I promise myself I won't make the same mistake ever again. I call it maturity, and that's my idea of perfection.

For me, that's what precious, for I've finally safely landed at this point, and to be on this point I need to go thru a very bad turbulence in my flight. Life’s best lessons are learned at the worst times. I don't do regular, I challenged, I beat it, and I learn to be stronger than ever. Let's see how many question I'll do well and how many wrong answer will teach me more.

I'm sorry guys for being disappointing,
but really thank God for letting me landed at the point where I can see things differently.
Warm hugs,
Fara Ramadhina

it's robie

and so the story came into a finish.

he has been one of the greatest teachers in my life.

to have or to be.

(I wrote this post the day before I finally end my relationship)

It's been two weeks and might still counting, been habitual for me without you, and it has essentially taught me things for stepping a whole new level on my maturity process. Alhamdulillah Allah gives me another chance to learn, and above everything, to be myself the way I really am (all over again).

I finally have the ability to recall how strong and how amazing I am, remember how to spread my wings and learn to fly again. I feel like a feather now, light and has no fear of falling, cause wind will take me fly again anytime soon.

I remember the day when we haven't known each other well, how we saw each other's strong and pure personality. How I saw you that way and how you saw me this way. And as years gone by we forgot how "to be" us and only know how "to have" us. And it polluted us. I'm corrupted. There was even a point when I could say "seriously I'm not this kind of girl. This girl’s sick, I’m only playing her freakin role. This is not me. I'm strong and I'm no drama-queen", that happened when I've been so demanding, ask you to do this and to be that, to go here and to be there bla bla blah.. Mostly caused by my freaking expectation and ego.

So then you took a very hard step which turned out to be the only way to purify us all over again. I had no clue at all and it was hurtful, I cried much, slept with mama & papa, had no appetite at all and sick. Now this is all make sense: "I need to take space, and one of its essential reason is because I love you, Fara", despite the fact that you had a big problem in your life, I take a blessing in disguise. I feel blessed.

I'm happy and what makes me even happier is the fact that I'm happy because of my own self, not depend on the act of other person. I’m not saying this is easy and yes, I still need lots of practice to be perfectly okay.

Well, thank you. Thank you dear God, You know how much I learn from this. You work in the most mysterious way. And I finally arrived in this point where I can smile wisely and look back with no anger at all, and have no worry of what tomorrow will bring. I'm ready.

Alhamdulillah wa syukurillah.
Sincerely,
Fara Ramadhina