first aid kit

not only to know you're here, but also to feel your presence..

are more than enough.

thank you for being you. for being there.

for lending eyes, ears, and shoulders. and most of all,

for giving the comfort feeling that caress this soul.

dear you

I realize one essential thing:

pause if you must,

but don't stop.

pesan papa jaman sekarang

"Teh, kamu tuh bikin rencana dong buat dua taun kedepan atau lima taun gitu harus keliling dari sabang sampai merauke, tiap kuartal kamu harus jalan kemana gitu, terus bikin buku biar orang-orang tau segimana bagusnya Indonesia."

Iya, Pop. Semua orang juga pengen kayak gitu. Tapi gak semua orang punya Papa yang ngomong kayak gini sih.

funeral speech

Begin with the end: I do this several times. Take a moment and contemplate, what do you want people to say about you in their speech on your funeral?

To think about it is to think about what you really want to be in your life. To think about it is to set your biggest goal of your existence in the world. Good luck with that.

If you’re on your way to search your identity, let’s simply begin with the end.

yin yang

I balance my life. I need to give Yin to my Yang. Everybody needs that, only if they realize. We had run a lot. I told myself that I need to run faster and jump higher, like all the time. Until one day I realize that blur of the traffic was sending me spinning.. I was getting nowhere. That I missed so many beautiful things I’ve passed on my run. Where was I? Run and saw one exact point of finish line, and forgot to look around and smile. Then there was a point that I told myself: Dear, you need to slow down.

And now when I slow my run and breath relaxly, fill my days with simply sharing and making friends and taking Yoga class, here comes people asking, what you’ve been up to Fara? What are you doing now? You can’t just walk like this, you always run! That they expect me to do something cool like they said I ususally did. To do something stands out among others. To do something tirelessly great and inspiring, in their eyes. To be their ideal version of me, in their mind.

No way. I closed my eyes and breath. For I know I should take another long and winding road to run again anytime but soon, and before that time comes, let’s just embrace the moment. That’s what matter. I don’t give any fuck of what people judging, I’m on my pitstop, enjoying my drink and getting everthing ready for another match. Now embracing grace, stop the rush.

# I write this for my friend Bayu Fajri Hadyan, a super fast sprint runner in his life.

don't believe the truth

I had enough of people talking and forcing and asking and judging. If this is a part of me, if I don't look that strong and that I need time to be afraid, at the end of the day everyone's tired, at the end of the day they don't see me as I am, they see their ideal version of me in their mind. I almost don't believe there'll be someone someday pops out from somehere and take me as I am, a whole 100%, with those worst and lamest parts included. If soul mate's real and that's the truth, so I'm sort of in the moment of not believing the truth. That doesn't make me a cynical, that kinda makes me the way I really am, at least now.

some might say "fuck the truth" but in the matter of fact, mostly,

truth fuck us more.

@epiclifequotes

I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.

to let loose, let go.

The goals of yoga are varied and range from improving health to achieving Moksha. In Indian religions, moksha (Sanskrit: मोक्ष mokṣa) or mukti (Sanskrit: मुक्ति), literally "release" (both from a root muc "to let loose, let go"), is the liberation from samsara and the concomitant suffering involved in being subject to the cycle of repeated death and reincarnation. Within the Hindu monist schools of Advaita Vedanta, Shaivism and Jainism, the goal of yoga takes the form of Moksha, which is liberation from all worldly suffering and the cycle of birth and death (Samsara), at which point there is a realization of identity with the Supreme Brahman.

(even taken from wikipedia)

aduh unyu deh

tuhan segitu baiknya sampe saya dikasih ketemu sama keluarga sastra. ga nyangka banget ya ampun deh ampun. pas saya nangis banyak yg nenangin, banyak yang ngerangkul, banyak juga yang ngatain cemen soalnya gitu aja ga kuat, ada yang nyari lagu paling sesuai buat naikin mood saya, mostly akhirnya pada ngelawak biar ketawa-ketawa lagi. sumpah seneng banget ga pake boong deh demi allah. oiya terus ada satu yang minjemin saya pundaknya dan bilang "lo bisa pake pundak ini kapanpun."

tampangnya gahar dan beringas tapi kok mereka semua sweet sekali ya :')

quoted notebook

Some people are real. Some people are good. Some people are fake & some people are real good at being fake.

are you in?

I'm afraid of another falling, I do forget I've been a risk-taker.

menurut gw sih

"mendingan jatoh sejatoh-jatohnya tapi abis itu bisa lari lagi, daripada langsung maksain jalan tertatih-tatih tapi ntar lukanya kebuka mulu."

be bright back ;)

You know what? I'm back. With the same smile and the same stupid jokes.

long live life!

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someones hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back."

my pleasure treasure

Lately I see and listen and feel a lot of God's work, manifest in a form of family and friends. THEY ARE AMAZING. Like really really amazing. When I shared to friends, it was like giving them a piece of me, and then they giving me another piece of me which I could hardly remember, and they put it in me, in a very right place. Do you know the feeling??? When you fell into pieces and you couldn't bring it all back together, for you think your hands hurt so much even can't stop bleeding, and suddenly there are a lot of people coming in a rush to give you back yourself, piece to piece. It feels so good I can even cry my heart out. I'm blessed. Dear you, and you, and you, I thank you, for every single part of me you've been carried all the way.

rest rest rest, now

Let's stay sane. I need to stay sane.

I'm not ready for any strange movement.

can I just.. take a lil breath after a long run?

quoted and noted

"there's a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything, but it's not giving up. it's realizing that you dont't need certain people and their crap."

quoted sidiq

"kita hanya dua orang asing yang kebetulan duduk di halte yang sama. saya tahu ini kedengarannya gila.

tapi tolong katakan, kita searah kan?"

stay sane.

"if living is all about changing
teach me how to accept
for i cannot fight the stream of life
nor i can resist the temptation to stay the same
and to stay sane"

dear liar.

it's your loss, man.